Blow it up

I think the reason I will not be in charge of my own world is because I would blow it up. I think I would look at us today and say, you know what, epic fail, game over...

What have we created??? 

You watch the news for 3 minutes and you hear several horrific events from individuals that are so beyond messed up that you despise them, cry for them and what horrific event got them to that place, and you mourn for the loss they created. Families ripped apart by the event, sometimes by their own family members. 

There are compassionate people, kind people, those who serve one another, those who work hard for their community not only themselves, non-judgemental, those who are truly loving...but all in the same person??? there are a very small handful.

Then you look at the GOOD side...we have what?? a well educated hard working individual that makes it in the world, and what does that mean...they have to sacrifice family because we have progressed so far. Pioneers had it so hard and lost a lot of lives because of lack of medical knowledge/tools...they worked from sun up to sun down, but they were a team. They stuck together and worked together, to succeed we leave our families for 40-100 hours a week, and when we come home we still work. Wow, aren't we great. We sacrifice everything to get ahead, we have to sacrifice time with our family just to pay the monthly bills...we have created a world where you can no longer afford to have any extras. It is work work work to keep a roof over your head. there are starving individuals who aren't taking advantage of the system or hooked on drugs, there are homeless that missed just a paycheck or two. the percentage of those of us that are that close to that fate is astronomical. 

We are messed up...epic fail, game over

So this last year I have had a lot of thoughts about Tarah. Most of it has been brought on by Diederik calling and telling me stories about Tarah. I have appreciated hearing new stories and have been able to learn about aspects of her life that I would never have otherwise known. Another link was Pam Gustman. She comes to our company and does massages every month and one time something was mentioned about Nedra and after talking it came out that she used to babysit Tarah, and her kids played with her. Her daughter also works there and told the story of her and Tarah trying to do dishes but neither knowing how, due to lack of doing it. They loaded the dishwasher and then put in regular dish soap not dishwasher soap and it bubbled all over the kitchen floor so they just started playing in the suds.
Then through Diederik I have talked to 2 other individuals that knew Tarah very well, one of which is her step sister Michelle Tischner. Troy Fullmer, a family friend, works with her and we did a 3 way call. We also set up a time to go to dinner next week, and I learned a few things. Michelle said her and Tarah used to write letters and she has laminated them and will bring them. In the letters Michelle said she talks about her biological mother. I CANNOT wait to read them.
It would have been so much better if I could have talked to her in person, but since that is not possible, I am looking forward to continue hearing and learning anything and everything I can...