Photography and...

That is hard to read for me, but I am not sure I understand that one. I tried to post this comment to that and could not get it to work, so, it is part of this.

And on that note - but the completely opposite off the subject left side of things

Who is watching the 4 Gilmore Girls episodes???????????????

eye injection etc

I realize that I am behind a couple of days and should be working on that, however, we are supposed to pull out in a few minutes and the next blog is, a difficult time in your life, and I would rather not do that now. Especially since I spent Sunday and this morning with the bishop working on some things concerning records etc which I will talk to each of you about rather than posting here.

So....last Friday I had another eye appt. as my blood work returned and indicated that I did not have the type of infection that would have been the cause of the cysts. They put in several sets of drops, and then injected a needle into the left side of the left eye to numb it...YES, this did freak me out and HURT!! Then they proceeded to put in several more sets of drops and then clamped my eye open, talk about freak show. Then they came at me with a long needle straight on, into the center of my eye.

I did not feel that needle, but at that point of view, who needs to feel it???

My eye was blood red, and I was grasping walls as I tried to make my way back to the entry where Eva was waiting (they do not let anyone else in room due to germ exposure). I then put on glasses and inserts and off we went. Vision was bizarre for 2 almost 3 days but then settled down. I could not sleep on back for 24 hours but other than that it was normal. Ironically I have had a "headache" surrounding my right (good) eye since, but I imagine it is working overtime.


on another note....

On Monday I went and got a cut, color, and a Brazilian done. Loving it all.

ok, Mike just drove in, must go load up.

Try to follow the yellow brick road mom laid down

Sorry ladies. I apparently blog here, blog there, blog blog everywhere!

I thought I had another entry and when I looked, I had apparently posted on
Clamm girls...so I apologize for any inconvenience you may have in trying
to find my blogs!! Bear with me, I fear it will only get worse!!!

Day 18 - The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

I started this blog quite a while ago, and "My Thoughts" fit it perfectly. I often just blurt out and speak and then I go on and on and on and on and...well you get the idea. So I thought that if I just put down what is in my brain would be putting down my thoughts..and so it is. Not a huge inspirational story eh?

Day 17 - What is your most proud moment

My first most proud moment was after working so hard for it, walking down to receive my high school diploma

I went to class in the evening, then worked graveyard, then back to class in the morning, then home to care for my 4 beautiful babies. I wanted so very much to prove to them that it is never to late to accomplish educational goals. And I did it. This is the same reason that I am still doing school now. I doubt very much that I will do anything with my degree at this point, and especially because I do not care for Human Resources anyway, but I am 52, God willing I will only be 53 when I graduate, and I absolutely want my girls and grand kids to know that it is never too late. Although I will say that finishing on time and going as young as possible would be best as you actually have a brain when younger.

The others would be my babies being born, each of their accomplishments, and moments when I have overcome something I have been working on, like now being able to shower with door closed and eyes closed also if needed or wanted, and not peeking out the curtain every few seconds. Such a feeling!!!

Day 16 - What is at the top of your bucket list

I do have a lot that I would love to do. My 60 acre compound with each girl having 10 acres is one I would love. Keep everyone close but far enough that everyone can do their own thing. I had a house on each plot, with pool, playground, etc in between. Trails with 4 wheelers to travel in between houses when wanted. A greenhouse, store, etc to keep our supplies with a system of working so many hours in each to get all supplies free. I also had a 8 plex on one corner of the property to rent for income and for visitors when needed. It was all perfect for me lol very selfish in that I wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of and near enough that I could see them on occasion.

Of course, I would love to see Central Park, Niagara Falls, Ireland, Denmark for family, Rome, Greece, etc. but I love pictures of those places also, and some seem so real it is like I am there.

Day 15 - Timeline of your day

OK, obviously I am a little behind. But I made some notes on my day planner so I will give it the  best I can.

5:30 - up and at em. brush teeth, bathroom etc.
5.45 - drive Nghi to seminary
6:45 ish - depending on the teacher - drive home
7:00 - read, play games, or sleep if needed (Tuesday I sleep because it is late day at school and we have 2 hours at home
8:00 - take Nghi to school
8:15 - check homework

Eva had a doctor appt on Thursday so I probably watched Hallmark channel, played game etc.

3:15 - pick Nghi up from school
3:45 - wash entry way, kitchen, laundry room, and 1/2 bath walls, baseboards, doors etc.
6:30 - eat dinner
7:00 - wash dishes, clean kitchen
8:30 - head upstairs for tv, homework, games, and general relaxing

I had an eye appt. the next day so probably slept very little as I do any night I have a scheduled event the following day...

Not a lot changes in my life except whether I clean this or clean that, or sleep from 9 until 1, or if I run errands/go to appts. with Eva

Day 14 - If you won the lottery

Not that I have not spent a lot of time thinking about this!!!

I do not think I would change a lot. I would keep the same car, the same clothes etc.

I would pay off my student loans. I would definitely take that trip around the United States that I wanted to take my girls on when they were young, see all of the historical and church sites.

I would like to purchase a small home with land, but since I have no idea where, I would probably hold off.

If I won a big one, or if I won the win 10K a week sweepstakes, I would give each of my girls 10K for a down payment or mortgage help, for every Christmas gift. I could live off of interest and quite comfortably given what I am used to, so saving that for each year would not be hard.

College tuition for my grand-kids would be a done deal. Or training etc that they chose. And down payments for homes for them also.

Other than that I would enjoy paying my bills each month without sweating if the car broke down or if something needed fixing.

Day 13 - What is your Earliest Memory

Not a lot here, not sure which is the earliest.

• I remember being babysat by a lady around the corner that would lock me in the bathroom every morning until I quit crying, and I do not remember anything but the bathroom, so I guess I never quit crying

• I remember riding my bike down the driveway and across the street. I then turned to talk to, answer, wave goodbye?? to my mom and when I did, I ran into the back of a parked car

• I remember being given a turntable from dad (David) and he said I just had to take care of it and let him know if anything goes wrong. I remember the needle breaking but instead of making life easy for myself and going to tell him I hid it. I had it taken away. 

I am sure that is enough lol. I have several more (not as many as I probably should) 

Who is this? NO CHEATING!!!!

to make it more fun you should text me the answer until someone gets it right, then I will tell you.

Of course my girls are pros and will probably guess this the first time

Knee

After spending 5.5  hours in the ophthalmologists office on Friday, and then lab for blood work, and another appt. for eye on Friday again.....as I was saying in Kimberly's blog, getting better.....I had an appt. for my knee today with an orthopedic surgeon.

The x-rays the doctor took when I got back from Utah were with me laying down, this doctor said you cannot see the damage that way, you had to take them standing up. So stand up I did. Amazing the difference. So I have damaged my knee...surprised?? What did the damage was all the times that my knee cap popped over to the right side and I "popped" it back in. Every time I did that I was wearing the cartilage down. I had to get it back in, however, I should have gone to the doctor and have them secure it so that it did not pop out at all. My left side still has a good amount of meniscus but on the right side it is completely gone and I am bone on bone, Hence the limping the last several months.

After some discussion about what to do, we decided on a cortisone shot for today and he wrote me a prescription for physical aquatherapy. He said what I was doing in the pool could very possibly be hurting my knee, especially since it has not helped. They will show me how to do very specific things for my exact knee problems and then I am not to do anything else.

He said I will need a knee replacement in 3-5 years, or if I get a patella ....something something, basically realigning my knee cap that would make it to where I could have possibly 5-7 years before replacement. Of course all of this could be different, could be 1 could be 10. One never knows..

Here is the part, other than how I should have gone to the doctor, that concerns my girls.

My knee cap was never aligned properly, it sits to the right. Which is why it should have been caught earlier. Another problem is that I am slightly knock kneed? in that leg and that should have been corrected as a child, but no one told my parents that mom remembers. Both Angie and Michele wore corrective shoes to straighten out issues apparently but mom says they never suggested anything for me. The surgeon today said that it was so slight that they probably did not think it needed addressed but could and should have been. If anyone has knee pain from anything or  at any time please check it now. Alignment apparently runs in families.

Just another thing to put on the family medical tree????  Love you all and do not want you to go thru stuff like this if it can be helped.

Day 12 - What's Inside Your Fridge

I have a small fridge in my room...

• Water
• Guacamole
• Pico
• Celery
• Ham lunch meat
• leftover butter from Texas Roadhouse rolls
• Mustard
• Summer Sausage from Costco

Not bad

Day 11 - List 15 of your Favorite Things

Another good list. I vote that for all of us that can be challenged with things like this, we just go to another list when this one is done. Having a topic is fun, but also makes me think and rise to the challenge.

1. Family
2. Trees
3. Rain
4. Movies
5. Reading
6. Watching shows with family
7. coloring/drawing
8. chocolate
9. tacos
10. music
11. pictures
12. light breeze thru the trees
13. open windows, fresh air, brisk cool air in morning
14. clean laundry/clothes hung out to dry
15. doing well in class, feeling good about a paper or comment I have made

Day 9 - 9 What are your worst habits

Not an easy one this....

1st and foremost would probably be my "if I ignore it, it will go away" theory that has never once worked out but I continue to try.

2nd would be my lack of decision making skills. It has driven many an individual crazy (thinking of my girls!) A lot of times I do not want to be the one making the decision, because I do not want to be responsible for it going badly, but a lot of times I just do not care enough to choose. Like with food, this drives Kimberly most crazy, but some times you crave something specific, and other times anything would work so I do not want to choose. But either way this is a very bad habit of mine that should be fixed.

3rd is definitely the I'm sorry aspect that Chrissy talked about. I say I am sorry entirely too much every day. I am getting better, at least around here. I think I fall into the I'm sorry habit more in my family settings, familiar settings like my old job/employees etc. So maybe that means there is hope, if I can get used to not saying it with everyone, that would be a great thing

4th would be my lack of confidence. I do not feel confident in any area. Not confident enough to speak up, just in case I say something stupid. Not confident enough in my communication skills enough to talk to people. I have run into some really nice individuals here in TX, they just talk to you, me, shocking to me, but they do and I just laugh or agree, and do not add much to the conversation because I freeze. The conversations end because the other party can only do so much. I feel bad when they end because there are some that I would really really like to continue talking to. And the list goes on and on. I am sure you all know this.

5th my fear of new unknown things. I am so scared to do things. Or my panic after I commit.
When my sister was in ICU Kimberly offered to drive me down and I snuck out in the middle of the night so as not to inconvenience her, then panicked badly when I got there and had to find a place to stay and the car was acting up etc. and had to spend 2 days waiting for my parents to arrive and make decisions for me and for dad to take me to the car place to get it fixed.

6th...I really should not continue on, there are too many to list!

Day 10 - What is your best Physical Feature

This used to be my hair. I loved my hair. Looked clean and silky. There was just enough red mixed into the brown that it really shined in the sun. Good stuff. I no longer get that with color as much, but covering the gray for a while more is the way to go for me.

So now that hair is no longer it for me, I have to go with my 52 year old bikini body LOL
It is in fine form these days!!!

Ok, seriously, probably my smile?? I do have fairly nice teeth, so I do not mind showing them off, and I LOVE to smile and laugh.

Glasses - for Destiny and Tyson

So both of my grandchildren have amazing glasses and faces in them! So adorable.

See? They are completely adorable. So I have been going to a specialist in Houston that was recommended to me by my Dr. in Utah. Yesterday I spent 5 1/2 hours there, and after many tests they fit me with new glasses to compensate for my lack of vision in the left eye. with them I can see 20/32!!! I just wanted to share with my grand kids how adorable mine are!

What do ya think kids??

Day 8 - Whats in Your Handbag

Well, it depends on which one you are talking about. I have one that I haul to the hospital that has an adult coloring book, 120 gel pens, 150 colored pencils, pad and pen for normal not taking (usually to write down what Eva needs on the next trip in) Kleenex, eye drops, and case with credit/debit cards in etc.

Then I have a little bag that I bought to sling over my head and shoulder on the cruise that has Kleenex, pen, eye drops, floss, and then I add my case with credit/debit cards and phone in when I head out with this one.





Then comes the big bad canvas bag that I carry with me almost always that has everything. ( I also have a laptop bag that I really like with lots of pockets, but my laptop is too big so I do not carry it anymore). I will take a pic then empty and describe just how much junk is in there, and keep in mind that I cleaned it out 2 days ago when Eva came home from the hospital.

Tablet, phone, case with credit/debit cards, napkins, baggie with salt and pepper, flashlight, q tips, dental floss, bandaids, hydrocrotisone cream, lens cleaners, 2 pairs disposable slip in your glasses dark glasses shield, pony tail holder and clips, eyedrops, allergy eyedrops, pens, chapstick, earphones, padometer, change, container of vaseline - one small plastic one and one tin can one, travel poo-pouri, manager notebook with cards/envelopes and several papers, wallet, kleenex, floss picks, brush, 2016 day planner, pack of mentos, gold bond hand cream, granola bars, cash - paper and change, Clorox disenfecting wipes, Wisp toothbruses, sponge bob magnetic pad of paper, more chapstick and more kleenex, oh another brush lol guess I can take more out of here!! more eyedrops (I am sensing a theme here), plastic silverware - knife and spoon so far, more granola bars and pens, bottle of xanax, letter from Destiny, new debit card.

Tha - Tha - That's All Folks

Day 7 - Your Pet Hates

I am like Kimberly in that I do not personally have a pet, however, Mike and Eva have a cat. their cat is psycho, like Eva they say, and pukes everywhere. They also had a homemade quilt on a rack and the cat sprayed it, they cleaned she sprayed. So now the quilt is in a bag in storage instead of being enjoyed and the cat is happy. Not to mention the fact that they had to rip up the carpet in the living room because she had sprayed so much they could not clean it, so is now concrete awaiting the new non carpeted flooring, and it is rare for female cats to spray!  I am also like Kimberly in that I cannot stand the puking, pooping, and general mess with pets. I love dogs, I do not mind cats, especially if they cuddle and love like a couple of mine through the years have done. However, you have to constantly care for animals and some days I just do not have it in me to even feed myself much less an animal. If I could get a dog that did not have hair to shed, like Rocky, and could guarantee that he/she would never pee, puke, or pee on my floors or any other surface, and someone else would care for the poop in the yard and for feeding them, I would be all in!!

Day 6 - Your 5 Senses Right Now

Sight - Eva, Michael, Nghi and a whole lot of stuff in the den

Hear - Michael talking about his move by move's on Ticket to Ride game, me choking/laughing, and Eva commenting on both of us.

Taste - Papa Murphy's pepperoni and garlic chicken pizza (both good, but not as good as the one that Kimberly orders)

Smell - the pizza is overriding everything else

Touch - crust, paper plate, glass of water

Chrissy put feel - not sure if we should all do that but thought I would include it

Feel - Tired most of all. It has been a long long day. Finally got Eva out of the hospital tonight but it took them 5.5 hours to discharge so was an unfun day.  I coughed so hard after dinner I about lost it, so head and throat hurt. I feel very very grateful for not having to go to the office every day, something that I feel very blessed to not be doing right now. I feel grateful that my dad David had a successful (by all thoughts right now) carpel tunnel surgery today, and feel hopeful that he will now be able to use fingers and hand without them always asleep and hurting. Lonely. Looking forward to some blood work and possible injections to make my eye get better?? Here;s to hope!

Day 5 - 10 songs you love right now

oh man, where to begin??? Music is huge in our lives. I will not add it to the list for me, but Rise by Katy Perry has words that make me think of my girls, their struggles and successes, always RISING to the challenge.

I do have the wonderful advantage of never listening to the radio or new music unless my kids give it to me, so my list is probably going to be old school. I will open up Amazon Music and see which ones I last listened to

1. Disturbed - Sound of Silence  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4

• I have had the privilege of  having this song be done twice in my lifetime in a most awesome way. I first heard this song on FB I believe and could not decide if it was a fav or not, but could not stop listening, and it quickly became a must listen

      2. Disturbed - The Light  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LypjOTTH6E

• I found this one while listening to the other and I loved the video and the message. His voice is beyond amazing and in this song it shows his range well. 

      3. Breaking Benjamin - Angels Fall, Ashes of Eden, What lies Beneath, Give me a sign (pretty much the entire Dear Agony album) Hollow etc etc etc...  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztJirkY5AMw

• I love Breaking Benjamin. They are a group that put a lot of feeling into their songs. I may not love every song, but on Dear Agony I do, just a group that I listen to a lot and enjoy the feeling. 

       4. Christina Perri - The Words  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9tc9R_Y3FY

• I do like the song, like to sing along to it, but I must admit the draw for me mainly comes from the video and Colin O'Donoghue...

       5. Guns n Roses - Don't Cry (Again, so many good ones, November Rain, Live and Let Die, the Garden - ok, I have far exceeded the 10 songs, Sorry!!)  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbf6JqkNc

• " I know how you feel inside, I've been there before " although the song in whole is good, I love when someone understands me (not GnR) in life because they have walked in similar shoes. Makes me feel understood. 

       6. Elton John - Empty Garden (Hey, Hey Johnny), Yellow Brick Road and Someone Saved My Life Tonight

• I have loved Elton John for so long. I remember in CA when I was little listening to Angie's Yellow Brick Road Album. Not sure if it was because my big sis liked him or what but I have listened and liked him for as long as I can remember, and his concert was one of the best concerts I have EVER attended, such a showman

      7.  Nickelback - Never Gonna Be Alone, Gotta Be Somebody, What Are Waiting For?   -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqajUg85Ax4

• Again, another group that makes me feel. I have way too many songs of theirs I like to list them all, but love listening to them. And yes, I realize the link is to a Chad Kroeger Avril Lavigne Let Me Go Video...just too good to pass on!

      8. Daughtry - Over You (and pretty much everything else)  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADQ9CAavPY4

• loved him on American Idol and have followed ever since. Love his music in all moods.

      9. Rascal Flatts - I'm Moving On  -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKIGOHhiDuY

• I drove to Texas singing this song over and over, and over again. Courage?? Not sure what I was gaining, but loved it and guess some of the words are reminiscent of "fake it til you make it"...keep saying it and it will come true. 

     10. Amber Run - I found -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6V_a1-EUA

• Just love it, love the sound

So I guess this turned out to be top 10 artists?? Although I do not know if that is the case. Secret Garden, Orchestra music, piano, all of those hit my all time favs list. Then you have my die hards Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Josh Groban, and this list goes on and on also. Love music. Seems to be a theme for us. 

Day 4 - What are you Afraid of?

Alzheimer's is at the top of the list. I do NOT want my girls to ever have me not recognize them. I cannot imagine anything worse, unless it is my kids changing my diapers!!!!!!! YIKES!

Day 3 - My Favorite Quote

So I love quotes. I write down a lot of inspirational quotes. Take pics of funny quotes. I always lose track of them and if I see them again love them all over (probably because I have forgotten it was said to me the day before!!) However, the older I get the one that is a general, overall, for everyone quote that I love is:

Dance  - like no one is watching

Love - like you have never been hurt

Sing - like no one is listening

Live - as though heaven is on earth

The older I get the less I care about what anyone else thinks. I still have a LONG Way to go on this journey, but I am starting to enjoy living somewhere that no one knows me. I sing at the top of my lungs in my car at stop lights instead of stopping in case someone sees me, I wear pjs and slippers to run places, if I am not getting out of the car (although this one may not be an improvement lol) I even walked into a restaurant to eat in my bathing suit and cover up...NEVER would have happened before. Again, not having a bathing suit body, this may not be an improvement, but not being as restricted and anal as I have been in the past is a good thing, I think.

Destiny isms

My grand daughter has a lot of spunk. She can give you a look and a sarcastic word like nobody else!!

Kimberly was asking about something this last year (not sure the date but had to be sometime between September 2015 and August 2016), I asked to talk to Destiny. I asked Destiny to go down to my room (in Utah) and look for something for her mama. I explained what  it looked like, where it was, what it was by etc. I asked if she had found it and she said no. I could tell nothing was moving around so I expressed that she would need to go in my room, move stuff around, and actually look. Destiny in all of her glory, not even a pause, says, "then we have a problem"

Well, after I picked myself up from the floor, laughing, I asked her why we would have a problem, and she said, "because I just painted my nails"!!!  I love that girly girl!


Another wonderful thing that she loves to do -
Christina bought me a minecraft subscription so I could play with the kids and grandkids.

Destiny likes me to get on with her and play Hide and Seek. Now, anyone who has been on Minecraft knows that you can walk forever and not reach the end, big big world, but I am a grandma, so...ok, lets play.

I can hardly ever find her, but one time I could see her name. (the name is posted above their head so you know who they are) But I could not find her no matter how many times I went around and around. So I started digging, and what do I find in the middle of the rock mountain, yes, the little bugger had dug a hole in the middle and buried herself. Well that is fair!!!

So she finally says, after several times of playing, it is my time to hide. I run and run and low and behold she is right behind me....found me 3 times in a row without a problem! imagine that!! So then, I teleport and she cannot find me...REALLY??? A lot harder when you do not follow them to the hiding spot eh? she says, yes lol

So tonight we are playing and I just cannot find her. She is in about her 3rd hiding spot and I asked for a clue. She says in a home, ok, so I start looking in homes, she says near your home, so I head the opposite direction I had been going and look everywhere. Homes, sheds, pig pens etc. I am now looking on the grounds...I finally give up and say, I just cannot find you, she says, "I changed spots"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? LOL oh man, this is way more fun than playing in a small house or backyard in real life!!!!!!!!!!

Day 2 - 20 Facts About Me

1. My name is Kimberly Dawn Crawford Peyton Holliman
2. I have lived in California, Washington, Oregon, Utah, and Texas
3. I am 52 years old
4. I prefer wearing pjs to anything else on the planet
5. I love Mexican food
6. I love to read
7. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, believe in Heavenly Father and am grateful I am a Christian
8. I have 4 beautiful, amazing, women in my life that I call daughter.
9. My Mom and Dad, Carolyn and David Peyton, still live in Hood River Oregon
10. My biological father Lawrence Roland Crawford lives in Lucerne Valley California
11. I am a full time online student, a senior, Business with an emphasis in Human Resource Management.
12. I do not like bugs
13. I like having clocks around, makes me feel better to know what time it is
14. I love music
15. I do not like jewelry, dresses, high heels, make-up etc. Cannot wear a lot of jewelry or make-up due to allergies but really not the most comfortable in girly girl things
16. I like chick flick and action movies and TV shows
17. I do not drink soft drinks, and basically only drink water with the occasional orange juice or hot chocolate
18. I love trees - a ton of trees and love to walk among them, sit under them and read etc.
19. I love Fall the best, Winter Second, Spring Third and Summer the least because it is too HOT 
20. I dislike shopping A LOT!!! Online is the way to go!!

Day 1 - Introduction and Photo

This is me!! (Not Recent)



Oh, well I do not know where my photo flash drive is...guess that will have to wait.

I am 52 and 5 months, yikes! Time is going so dang fast.

I live in Kingwood Texas (suburb of Houston) at this particular moment.

I am attending college at UOP, online, and since coming to TX I have earned 4 A's, 2 A-'s, 1 B+, and 1 B.

I am not doing much other than that. I am grateful for the opportunity to finish school and do a good job at it because other parts of life are not as stressful.

I have had an opportunity to travel quite a bit this last year and a few months. Again, another blessing that I never thought I would get to have.

I miss my kids and grandkids immensely but they are living their own lives and this is a good thing for me and for all of us. Not sure what else is in store for me but for now I am loving most parts of this phase.