Christina and Kimberly were always close it seemed. We preferred the kids to be in pairs so we had Christina and Kimberly go together and Ashley and Amanda go together. A lot of things about that was not fair, but that is the way it was regardless of what some of us wanted. The girls ended up being together a lot due to needing to isolate them. They would spend hours/days/weekends in the basement or in their rooms together. They seemed to make the best of it, they did have food and I always tried to sneak down some extra stuff to them when I could.
They seem to still get along. I think that they have each done their healing at different times and that has caused some tension and fights at different times in their lives, but I firmly believe that they love each other and would do anything for each other when needed.
My girls had the same with me. They loved and protected me. Too much. They did what they could. I know that they were told to disobey me, disrespect me, give me crap based on what they were asked - TOLD - to do. Amanda was the closest to me the longest because he was otherwise occupied for the first several years of her life. But he then worked ten times harder to sever those ties with her than he had to with the others. I did so many things wrong with my family...the worst of it was not being there for them as a mother should have been. All of them lost me to being numb, scared, wimpy, or any number of other things that I did or did not do as I should have. I praise my kids for being there for their children. I can pray they will work on healing and their kids better than them etc. I truly pray that none of my kids will allow abuse and mental issues affect their parenting as much as is possible, and that their kids would continue being so incredible.
I have a good relationship with Christina and Kimberly for sure. I know they still have issues with things I did but they have talked to me I believe. I think they still protect me too much. I do not think they want to worry me, or trust me with issues, but I think that they will come to me as a friend now more often than they would have before I got some distance and perspective about life. Ashley and I have a superficial friendship I think. I broke her trust when she asked me to keep my mouth shut and just listen and I opened up and inserted foot effectively shutting her down from opening up. She had some very major events happen after that, and did not tell me. So she turned to others. I hope that I am rebuilding that, but I am not sure she has worked thru everything she needs to in order to give me a level of trust needed for friendship. Amanda has not talked to me for quite a while now. I have blown it with her for all but 4 or so years of her life, so that will take a long long time to heal, and I am not sure it will happen.
We watched movies, went to the library, and July 4th everything. As far as the family we did basketball or softball (when we were not being yelled at) For me, all family activities were tainted at one time or another. Even when we went to Disneyland, it was some sort of tension. I am sure the kids felt the same, or worse, but I hope the times that we had with just us left good memories for them.
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Section D: Children Part 2
Tarah was a great baby. She did the normal amount of crying, teeth, crying, holding on to items and pulling herself up and walking. She was happy. Lots of laughs and funny faces. She did not have a normal baby situation because we were living in a hotel room with Candy/Steve/Tanya/Steven. She loved her cousins. The kids made her laugh a lot. Was cute to watch the 3 of them. I did not get enough of that. She had a small snoopy that she held onto all of the time. Only about 2-3 inches high. I slept with her blanket for weeks. Lorraine finally asked if I would wash it one day. It smelt like formula/baby throw up I am sure. I just thought it smelt like her so I resisted for a while. Then I finally did.
Christina was a quiet baby. From 3 days old she slept 12 hours straight. She would lay in the bassinet in the morning and just wait for us to come get her. The only time that Christina would cry was when we undressed her for her bath. When we did you would think that world war 3 had broken out. The minute she was dressed, all was quiet again. Was cute. Another thing that bothered her was any dirt or any thing that got her dirty. She would get one speck on her finger and freak out. Which is one reason she was so easy to potty train. She hated a mess. By contrast, once she hit about 6-7 she would roll in the biggest, muddiest, puddle and from head to toe be dirty and smiling. She also became quite vocal. I have a list of times that she should have been hurt/deformed/injured/or dead. I have no idea what she has in store for her, what she is supposed to do on this earth, but it is something extraordinary. She is still a good kid/woman.
Kimberly was also quiet. She was such a good baby. When she was 4-5 months old she seemed like she was getting sick. She slept well, she was a good girl but she was eating less and did less laughing. We took her to a couple of doctors and they would ask how she was sleeping etc. Then they would look at her eyes, huge brown eyes so dark you could not even see the pupils. They would tell us we were lucky she slept and send us home. At 6 months we went to the free clinic for shots and they asked us questions. When I told them my frustrations they said they agreed with me. She was 9 pounds 3 ounces at birth and at 6 months she was only 10.2 (what Chrissy weighed at birth). They suggested we just go straight to the emergency room and wait until they helped. We took her advice, went to the ER and sat there and told them we would not leave until they helped. We were there all night. They finally asked us if we would leave if we could see a specialist in the morning. We agreed. We met with the specialist and after an extremely long appointment he took Donovan aside and told him to prepare me, that she had a 90% chance of not making it. We went back every day for about 2 weeks. She lost ounces everyday. Her stomach was concave. The skin on her arms and legs was loose. She was a baby and disappearing. We held her 24 hours a day, she was never left alone. She slept with us, ate in our lap etc. The specialist changed the food/medicine everyday. After a couple of weeks she gained 1 ounce!! We had some family friends come over and give Kimberly a blessing. The blessing said that she would grow up to live a full life. The next day I took her to the doctors and instead of crying I asked what we were doing today...She improved from that day on. We just adjusted until it was ok. About age 4 she was getting kidney infections. After testing they realized that the tube between her kidney and bladder had not fully developed. They put her on medicine which I found tucked into the couch cushions! Just as stubborn and resistant then as now lol. We would also take her on dates, and get her a treat, and she would refuse to eat them until she shared with her sisters. We would explain that they got a treat when they went out on their date but it did not matter, she refused to eat until she shared. Again, huge heart then as now!!
Ashley, oh my Ashley. How do you describe this child her first few years??? YIKES!!! LOL
As described on part 1, she cried the first 12 hours, and basically the first 6 or so years. She would scream bloody murder if she saw a dog 12 houses away, and YES, she did spot them (just ask the neighbors!) We would take her out of sacrament meeting kicking and screaming at a level that made everyone know that I had pinched her. Stores and anywhere quiet, was quiet no more once we arrived. Tables, walls, tables, no matter what was in her path her head would slam into it. I was instructed by Dr. Cory to ensure she had been given everything needed and shut her door at night. I would sit in the hall and cry, I hated hearing her scream. I just needed sleep, so I finally tried to walk away and sleep while she was in her crib. We asked if she needed tests to see what was wrong, but it was decided to wait a while. We did and she grew out of it. Not sure how or why, but it was welcomed. She then was quiet, so quiet. A great kid, who stayed under the radar. She would be asked to clean the room and we thought she did a bang up job until we found it all under items in her room lol. Ash is a good kid. I did not think she was a good kid because she wanted to be, which scared me. She seems like she is really getting back into what she loves - medical surgical etc. - and I pray she keeps on track with that. She is a great lady.
Amanda came along into a house that was so dysfunctional that it was scary. She was a good baby though. Another fun baby, very happy. She was a welcomed distraction for all of us, the girls especially. They would wait on her hand and foot. I finally had to put my foot down and tell them to let her actually ask before getting her things or she would never learn to talk or walk. I fear that once she was in school she was forgotten. I was room mother in kindergarten and we spent a ton of time together. She was my buddy, which was unlike the others. It was noticed. After kindergarten she was encouraged to not spend time with me, and we lost track of each other in the struggle. Once she hit 8 it got intense/division was severe and irreparable apparently. The more time went on the worse it got.
I hear she has a job and is doing well with her boyfriend. I pray, she is doing better than she ever expected.
Christina was a quiet baby. From 3 days old she slept 12 hours straight. She would lay in the bassinet in the morning and just wait for us to come get her. The only time that Christina would cry was when we undressed her for her bath. When we did you would think that world war 3 had broken out. The minute she was dressed, all was quiet again. Was cute. Another thing that bothered her was any dirt or any thing that got her dirty. She would get one speck on her finger and freak out. Which is one reason she was so easy to potty train. She hated a mess. By contrast, once she hit about 6-7 she would roll in the biggest, muddiest, puddle and from head to toe be dirty and smiling. She also became quite vocal. I have a list of times that she should have been hurt/deformed/injured/or dead. I have no idea what she has in store for her, what she is supposed to do on this earth, but it is something extraordinary. She is still a good kid/woman.
Kimberly was also quiet. She was such a good baby. When she was 4-5 months old she seemed like she was getting sick. She slept well, she was a good girl but she was eating less and did less laughing. We took her to a couple of doctors and they would ask how she was sleeping etc. Then they would look at her eyes, huge brown eyes so dark you could not even see the pupils. They would tell us we were lucky she slept and send us home. At 6 months we went to the free clinic for shots and they asked us questions. When I told them my frustrations they said they agreed with me. She was 9 pounds 3 ounces at birth and at 6 months she was only 10.2 (what Chrissy weighed at birth). They suggested we just go straight to the emergency room and wait until they helped. We took her advice, went to the ER and sat there and told them we would not leave until they helped. We were there all night. They finally asked us if we would leave if we could see a specialist in the morning. We agreed. We met with the specialist and after an extremely long appointment he took Donovan aside and told him to prepare me, that she had a 90% chance of not making it. We went back every day for about 2 weeks. She lost ounces everyday. Her stomach was concave. The skin on her arms and legs was loose. She was a baby and disappearing. We held her 24 hours a day, she was never left alone. She slept with us, ate in our lap etc. The specialist changed the food/medicine everyday. After a couple of weeks she gained 1 ounce!! We had some family friends come over and give Kimberly a blessing. The blessing said that she would grow up to live a full life. The next day I took her to the doctors and instead of crying I asked what we were doing today...She improved from that day on. We just adjusted until it was ok. About age 4 she was getting kidney infections. After testing they realized that the tube between her kidney and bladder had not fully developed. They put her on medicine which I found tucked into the couch cushions! Just as stubborn and resistant then as now lol. We would also take her on dates, and get her a treat, and she would refuse to eat them until she shared with her sisters. We would explain that they got a treat when they went out on their date but it did not matter, she refused to eat until she shared. Again, huge heart then as now!!
Ashley, oh my Ashley. How do you describe this child her first few years??? YIKES!!! LOL
As described on part 1, she cried the first 12 hours, and basically the first 6 or so years. She would scream bloody murder if she saw a dog 12 houses away, and YES, she did spot them (just ask the neighbors!) We would take her out of sacrament meeting kicking and screaming at a level that made everyone know that I had pinched her. Stores and anywhere quiet, was quiet no more once we arrived. Tables, walls, tables, no matter what was in her path her head would slam into it. I was instructed by Dr. Cory to ensure she had been given everything needed and shut her door at night. I would sit in the hall and cry, I hated hearing her scream. I just needed sleep, so I finally tried to walk away and sleep while she was in her crib. We asked if she needed tests to see what was wrong, but it was decided to wait a while. We did and she grew out of it. Not sure how or why, but it was welcomed. She then was quiet, so quiet. A great kid, who stayed under the radar. She would be asked to clean the room and we thought she did a bang up job until we found it all under items in her room lol. Ash is a good kid. I did not think she was a good kid because she wanted to be, which scared me. She seems like she is really getting back into what she loves - medical surgical etc. - and I pray she keeps on track with that. She is a great lady.
Amanda came along into a house that was so dysfunctional that it was scary. She was a good baby though. Another fun baby, very happy. She was a welcomed distraction for all of us, the girls especially. They would wait on her hand and foot. I finally had to put my foot down and tell them to let her actually ask before getting her things or she would never learn to talk or walk. I fear that once she was in school she was forgotten. I was room mother in kindergarten and we spent a ton of time together. She was my buddy, which was unlike the others. It was noticed. After kindergarten she was encouraged to not spend time with me, and we lost track of each other in the struggle. Once she hit 8 it got intense/division was severe and irreparable apparently. The more time went on the worse it got.
I hear she has a job and is doing well with her boyfriend. I pray, she is doing better than she ever expected.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Section D: Children Part 1
Describe the birth of your children -
With Tarah, I was living with Bill (Mike Jones brother, Barrie and Larry's second son)
I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. Tried to sleep but had to go to the bathroom again. Not really in any pain but going to the bathroom twice in such a short time span was unusual for me. Bill woke up and saw that I was uncomfortable so he called the neighbor lady over. I told them both they were out of their minds, no pain was involved. But she said it could be, something about the way my stomach looked then versus when I got there a little over a week ago. (dropped maybe, but I do not remember as it made no sense to me then) So we hop in his car, and head down Sepulvada Blvd. (Tom Petty sings about this particular Blvd.) and Bill is getting out and telling people to move. This is laughable since this is the heart of LA, but something about his face had them moving. We arrive at LA County and they put me on a gurney and I got sick. Still no pain but the nurse said I was close. I still thought everyone was insane but then I felt it and I told the nurse I had changed my mind. She said, probably, but it is too late now. So Tarah was born shortly thereafter. It was 4.5 hours from time I started having symptoms without pain.
With Chrissy, they had given me 2 ultrasounds. 1 at 3-4 months because I was so huge they thought I had twins, then at 7-8 months because my uterus was doubling every month and they thought they missed it the first time, but alas, it was just her! My due date was March 12th but they thought I would be early because of the size, they were wrong. So not only was I late but I felt extremely late because of them being sure. My mom had flown down and was visiting so she could be there and it was almost time for her to go home! We made plans on Sunday to have a dinner after church, and of course, as babies do, plans were changed. I woke up Donovan because my water had broken, and off we went. 4 hours later we were holding our 10.2 ounce baby.
Then Kimberly, wow, I was so done being pregnant with her. I was big and miserable and we were 10 days over when I decided I would jump on the trampoline because the other methods people recommended did not work. Later that night my water broke but labor did not start and I was scared I broke her. So we paced around and around the hospital trying to do what we could not do earlier, so they did not have to take her. She decided that she would make an appearance then. She was my first night time baby. Still born in the 10 o'clock hour, but at night not in the morning. 3 for 3 at 10 something.
Ashley was different. We lived in Provo by the temple and had to go to AF. My water broke so we called Dr. Cory and told him that we were in process so would be there soon. But I had to take a shower to get the water off. By the time we arrived at the hospital Dr. Cory was fit to be tied and we literally gave him time to catch her. She was born 15 minutes after we arrived so they barely got me undressed and on a gurney before she was born. She had a BM coming out that got caught in her lungs so she had to be suctioned and have oxygen and she was so happy about that! That child screamed for the first 12 hours. When she continued screaming for years, banging her head on table, wall, or floor, I told Dr. Cory that he broke her. We had asked if we needed to do anything, testing etc. to see if she was in pain, but when we described what and when she was doing, he said we would wait. She settled down between 5-6 and after 7 she was quiet as a church mouse. Not sure what changed, but since I thought she was no longer in pain I was okay.
Then Amanda...Dr. Cory was still unhappy with me and the lack of time I gave him with Ash, and now we had moved further away, so he insisted that he induce me. I told him I had the first 4 natural and did not want that, that I had read that inducing could double your labor. He gave me a funny look, and said really??? I do not feel bad for you at all...No empathy lol, should not have gone with that argument. So we scheduled it for the afternoon, He started the process. Said he was going back to the office, but since he knew my history he would get into scrubs before he left. He did not get further than the corner and they called him back. She was born in 50 minutes. So...no empathy on length at all!! However, because of inducing based on easy schedule, she was my only baby that was not born naturally, or in the 10 o'clock hour.
With Tarah, I was living with Bill (Mike Jones brother, Barrie and Larry's second son)
I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. Tried to sleep but had to go to the bathroom again. Not really in any pain but going to the bathroom twice in such a short time span was unusual for me. Bill woke up and saw that I was uncomfortable so he called the neighbor lady over. I told them both they were out of their minds, no pain was involved. But she said it could be, something about the way my stomach looked then versus when I got there a little over a week ago. (dropped maybe, but I do not remember as it made no sense to me then) So we hop in his car, and head down Sepulvada Blvd. (Tom Petty sings about this particular Blvd.) and Bill is getting out and telling people to move. This is laughable since this is the heart of LA, but something about his face had them moving. We arrive at LA County and they put me on a gurney and I got sick. Still no pain but the nurse said I was close. I still thought everyone was insane but then I felt it and I told the nurse I had changed my mind. She said, probably, but it is too late now. So Tarah was born shortly thereafter. It was 4.5 hours from time I started having symptoms without pain.
With Chrissy, they had given me 2 ultrasounds. 1 at 3-4 months because I was so huge they thought I had twins, then at 7-8 months because my uterus was doubling every month and they thought they missed it the first time, but alas, it was just her! My due date was March 12th but they thought I would be early because of the size, they were wrong. So not only was I late but I felt extremely late because of them being sure. My mom had flown down and was visiting so she could be there and it was almost time for her to go home! We made plans on Sunday to have a dinner after church, and of course, as babies do, plans were changed. I woke up Donovan because my water had broken, and off we went. 4 hours later we were holding our 10.2 ounce baby.
Then Kimberly, wow, I was so done being pregnant with her. I was big and miserable and we were 10 days over when I decided I would jump on the trampoline because the other methods people recommended did not work. Later that night my water broke but labor did not start and I was scared I broke her. So we paced around and around the hospital trying to do what we could not do earlier, so they did not have to take her. She decided that she would make an appearance then. She was my first night time baby. Still born in the 10 o'clock hour, but at night not in the morning. 3 for 3 at 10 something.
Ashley was different. We lived in Provo by the temple and had to go to AF. My water broke so we called Dr. Cory and told him that we were in process so would be there soon. But I had to take a shower to get the water off. By the time we arrived at the hospital Dr. Cory was fit to be tied and we literally gave him time to catch her. She was born 15 minutes after we arrived so they barely got me undressed and on a gurney before she was born. She had a BM coming out that got caught in her lungs so she had to be suctioned and have oxygen and she was so happy about that! That child screamed for the first 12 hours. When she continued screaming for years, banging her head on table, wall, or floor, I told Dr. Cory that he broke her. We had asked if we needed to do anything, testing etc. to see if she was in pain, but when we described what and when she was doing, he said we would wait. She settled down between 5-6 and after 7 she was quiet as a church mouse. Not sure what changed, but since I thought she was no longer in pain I was okay.
Then Amanda...Dr. Cory was still unhappy with me and the lack of time I gave him with Ash, and now we had moved further away, so he insisted that he induce me. I told him I had the first 4 natural and did not want that, that I had read that inducing could double your labor. He gave me a funny look, and said really??? I do not feel bad for you at all...No empathy lol, should not have gone with that argument. So we scheduled it for the afternoon, He started the process. Said he was going back to the office, but since he knew my history he would get into scrubs before he left. He did not get further than the corner and they called him back. She was born in 50 minutes. So...no empathy on length at all!! However, because of inducing based on easy schedule, she was my only baby that was not born naturally, or in the 10 o'clock hour.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)