More thoughts

I think blogs are like journals, we do not write a lot but even if we do we want to delete/tear out pages because we do not want others seeing us at our most vulnerable. We may write when something is so amazing and exciting but for the most part I think we write when we are contemplative/pondering/pensive/hurting. I for one have thrown away many a journal page because of not wanting anyone to know what pain and stupidity are within its pages.  just a thought.

Anyway, I really want to quit work. As far as jobs go, I have a good one. But I often think about life and where I thought I would be at - almost - 48, and this is not it. I would like my self sustaining property with my kids on their own 10 acres if they would like it. Or even here in my apt. minus the people upstairs. I have thought of many things I would like to do in order to attain this goal, other jobs, businesses but they would be run by me and my rules/hours. Not in a way that would make it to where I did nothing, although on some days that sounds good, but more in the way of doing something I would love to do. That I could be passionate about instead of just liking a paycheck. Bed and breakfast. Restaurant - small and cozy with couches as well as tables (the Chocolate that Chrissy took me to is almost exactly what I had in my head, seeing it just made me realize that my thought could become a reality) although I would want to provide delivery service. Book store before e-books took over the world lol. The ultimate dream would be to build this or convert this house on top of an Irish cliff overlooking the ocean, fireplace blazing. But I would settle for Utah County!

I have started a book, although I have no idea where it is going or even if it could go anywhere. How is it some people have so much confidence? They know what they want to do and then believe in themselves and their abilities and just go for it, regardless??? They fail, and fail, and then succeed. What is that ingredient that makes some seemingly better than others? They are not, they just fake it til they make it. The Slight Edge (book) talks about doing one small thing, seemingly insignificant, each day that makes a difference. ie. save one dollar, read 10 pages of a self help book instead of a novel, pass by the cake one time, do one sit up etc. Add those up and soon you are financially, mentally, socially, physically improving. One small item, one baby step, one step on your journey of a thousand miles. Will I take that step?

Tonight I thought of a series of kids books about traveling. Somehow to make it fun for kids but yet educational so parents will buy it. My dream when my kids were little was to take them out of school for a year and get in a motor home and go. We would hit historical sites, and I wanted to hit church history sites, but to stay as long or as little as we would like in each place learning as much as we could. I want to put that adventure in books. One book per site or state or country, something like that. illustrations, stories, characters etc. I would love to publish these and be able to retire in a while. Anyway, I need to go to bed but I wanted to write it down so I would not forget. I told Amanda about my idea, and asked her to, so now it will be in 2 spots!! Good night all!!